Mother Goose

Once upon a time...

On March 1, 2013, I stepped into the organization in Amsterdam where I had “professionally grown up.” Once a little girl born and raised on a farm in the south of the Netherlands, I was now a 24-year-old woman in the big city, ready to pursue my dreams. From day one, I was determined to build a successful career and become the best in recruitment.

It soon became clear that becoming the best in recruitment was not in the cards for me. I preformed average and was for sure not a Messi. I was outpaced in every way. When I think back at this time in Amsterdam, I can't help but smile because, even though I was “just” an average player, I worked alongside amazing professionals. Sales consultants and managers from whom I learned so much. We laughed every day at and with each other. We celebrated successes and earned money. What more could you want?

Well... a whole lot! And while I wanted more, the culture in our office began to change. A culture that no longer fit me. It became a bit too much like the “Wolf of Wall Street,” and I missed the connection and teamwork toward a common goal.

I doubted whether I wanted start looking around for another job. Until November 2013, when I was asked to set up a new recruitment department within the same organization along with a few other colleagues. “YES, I DO!” was my answer. This was exactly what I was looking for. A mission, a goal, and a new team. So off I went again, the same woman still determined to build a career, but this time with a different objective.

I no longer wanted to become the best in recruitment; I wanted to be the best manager!

After initially starting in Amsterdam to build the new recruitment department, I set foot in Rotterdam on March 1, 2014. A new office was opened, and I figured my chances of advancing to a leadership role would be greater there. I had never been to Rotterdam before. Yet, I moved with great optimism from the capital to the port city. With a net salary of €1400, living in a room with a mattress on the floor and my clothes still in suitcases. Slowly, I was allowed to lead the sales team, and it was fantastic. I felt honored and responsible. Honored to bring together and lead a group of people. Responsible for being there for this wonderful group, listening to them, and ensuring personal and professional development. Carrying this responsibility was anything but a burden; it felt like a blessing. My team saw, heard, and acknowledged me. These were feelings I had unconsciously missed for so long. Leading became my passion. I could express myself in it and turned out to be good at it as well. Although I wasn’t aware of this at the time. The way I led felt natural to me, not special. Often, I thought, “Well, anyone could do what I'm doing right now.”

In November 2014, I created a team of 8 sales professionals. During this time, I learned a lot—learned from my mistakes and learned from my environment. As a leader I wanted to be good to my team, collaborate and enjoy it. I made sure to be there when they needed me, to listen, reach compromises, and set a good example.

I was a motivator and trainer and gave everything for the job and the responsibility that came with it.

My leadership style was appreciated by my team, and the results were valued by the board of directors. I received promotion after promotion and started new offices in Belgium, Germany, and Austria. Together with a fantastic management team and many ambitious sales professionals, I built a company spread over 7 cities and 4 countries. I loved the culture; there was a real sense of belonging combined with acceptance and harmony. To me, nothing was more important than that everybody felt comfortable. Oh, and before I forget, we were profitable too.

Everyone I worked with during this time I still remember by name. I recall the personal stories, the pain, and the joy. I remember how we formed a genuine connection and how we built something beautiful together.

My position also meant that I could play at the highest level. I might no longer be a little girl, but as a young adult woman of 27-year-old, to be part of the board of directors with only older men, it was quite impressive. During our monthly board meetings, I was often the one with the best results and always the one with the most stable team. Yet, I was jokingly referred to as “Mother Goose.” Because “I was too good for my people” and accused of prioritizing people over the business.

My passion for leadership was based on trust, care, helping, and being there for people when they needed it. Due to this perhaps humorously intended nickname, I began to doubt myself immensely. I felt not taken seriously, small, and started to think—and sometimes even believe—that I might not be good enough as a leader. Being called “Mother Goose” struck a chord in my heart. If I wanted to be successful in this world, did that mean I couldn’t be myself? I didn’t dare to express how I felt, for fear of being labeled as weak or a complainer. Yet, I never fundamentally deviated from my approach. I was stubbornly happy to care for my people; there is nothing wrong with that.

That Mother Goose tactic turned out to be incredibly effective! In May 2018, I was promoted to Sales Director and was responsible for, well, everything actually. 140 sales professionals, 5 brands, 5 countries including Hong Kong, and many challenges. This marked the most challenging time of my career. I struggled with who I wanted to be as a leader versus what was expected of me. I began making bigger mistakes and treating people in a way that didn’t fit me at all.

Looking back, I feel a knot in my stomach. It hurts. Not being yourself because you adhere to expectations that don’t suit you is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It creates stress, frustration, and shame.

I increasingly felt like I didn’t belong and that I had to adapt to play at the highest level. I was not only Mother Goose but also “the odd one out”. Thankfully, with the help of a fantastic business coach, the dark clouds disappeared, and the sun began to shine again.

As from May 2019, I began to feel better and stronger. I realized what it meant to perform at the highest level.

This meant I had to learn a new language, one of goal-oriented strategies with a clear profit focus, inspired by my own people-centered vision.

By preparing for important meetings more effectively, I achieved my goals more often. The little girl I once was, felt like a distant memory. I no longer felt small. I transformed into a director who knew the impact she wanted to make and how to achieve it. My influence grew, and I developed into the leader I am proud of to this day.

Then COVID hit, a setback for many of us. During that time, stress and panic sometimes took over. However, I learned to reflect and put things into perspective better than ever before. I stayed true to myself, acknowledged my mistakes, engaged in conversations, listened, provided direction, and continued to collaborate and look ahead. These experiences have made me stronger and further developed my leadership.

The organization emerged from the COVID crisis very strong, and thanks to my leadership and the results during that period, I was promoted to Managing Director at the end of 2022; Mother Goose became responsible for the entire organization. My dream job! During my job interview in 2013, I literally told the then- owner that I would one day like to sit in his chair. And suddenly, it was happening. With a people-oriented growth vision and strategy, I embarked on a new adventure.

An adventure that didn’t last long. Four months after my promotion, I left the organization during a merger because it simply no longer felt like my place. We were no longer a match, and that’s okay. I hold the organization dear to my heart and am grateful for 10 wonderful and educational years.

Now, 11.5 years later, I am the woman I want to be. A woman with protective, connecting and gentle qualities, like those of a motherly goose. But also, a powerful and strong woman who stands up for her desires and boundaries, provides direction, and knows what she wants.

For me, growing up professionally was tough, and many things happened that could have gone differently. With everything I learned and experienced I want to contribute to a world where we accept each other for who we are, recognize each other’s strengths, and create a sense of togetherness and harmony. A world where everyone feels seen and heard, and where uncertainty can be expressed without judgment.

If we support each other to stand in our strength and do what we are good at and what makes us happy, we create a world together where everyone has a place.

I have become the woman I unconsciously missed for 10 years: a mentor, inspirer, coach, and advisor. I won’t shield you from mistakes, nor can I help you avoid disappointments. Life is, cliché but true, a rollercoaster. What I can do is ensure that you develop yourself, experience peace, and feel seen and heard. Because feeling alone, subordinate, belittled, and unheard is something I experienced far too often, and that feeling is something no one deserves. Not Mother Goose, not you, no one.